199% improved.
okay, its been months, or a month. i need to start this up again. my life has done a 180. just in the matter of a few days. and i feel like i can connect with my entercom girls once i leave through blogging… yes, i am leaving, march 6th. and i am very upset about it. i have never made such amazing friends in a short amount of time like i have here. i could blooooggg all day about it. (haha). i am really going to miss them all very much, but its a decision that i have had to make for myself, and to fulfill my needs. i feel as if i have to move towards a goal, and that is to teach once again. i’ve been so lost the past few weeks and i believe that it is because i was lost in things that weren’t making me, me. me = happy, outgoing, can’t live without my girlfriends, poking fun, being stupid, finding time for myself, blabbing about my feelings, i am NOT a cryer (but lord have i been crying a lot!), high-strung and hyper, i am really straight forward, stress a little but not so much as i have lately. just to name a few. ha. but i was on the other side of the road late january-now. the other side of the road was bad, i was hurting for reasons i couldn’t explain, and my life felt as it was in shambles. shambles i tell you. i’m sure i was making it out to be a lot worse than it was but it was pretty bad. at one point, the doctors were convinced that i had a blood clot. and they didn’t act like it was a precautionary procedure, they def made me feel as if it was 99% possible. tests on my heart, which aren’t over, which alllllll could be a part of anxiety. it’s pretty scary considering i haven’t ever had anything “really” wrong with me, no surgeries etc. now i am on medications of different kinds and i don’t want to take them… i don’t want the medicine to cover it up. but now, i am considerably feeling different already. although i am still not satisfied that no one can pin-point the problem i have been having, things are piecing together, quickly. brandon moved in with me on the last wednesday in february, bethany has been wanting to move out so she could eventually move to chapel hill with will… and i’m going back to doing something that i loved- teaching. it’s going to be rough at first, but its ALL about the struggle. me and bran are going to struggle together for a few months…but its already pulling us together. we can take our relationship to the next level. finally. i feel 199% better than i did 2 weeks ago. i even have skipped my blood pressure medication a few times (by accident) and felt even better. it’s funny how changing just a few things in your life that you didn’t think was possible will change your entire attitude. i mean, i’ve been a shitty friend to some, all because i was holding in everything. & sometimes i was somewhat embarassed. and i still don’t tell all about what has happened to me in the past few weeks, there’s some private things that can’t be discussed, but i appoligize to everyone i have sluffed off accidently. i just had to find myself again…and i feel like i’m back on the track i should be on. and i know this blog was completely baffled and doesn’t exactly make all the sense it should make, but give me a break, it’s been so long :)
and so it goes……. life goes on…….. times are tough…… but it WILL get better.
